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A Remembrance Ceremony is a gathering of people coming together to honor someone who has died. It is a custom-created ceremony, structured to lead you and your guests through a process of remembering and paying respect.

If you're looking for a non-traditional ceremony, you'll find information here about ceremonies that focus on the life and personality of the special person and what he or she meant to family and friends.

Remembrance Ceremonies can be joyful, solemn, loving, noisy, irreverent — or any combination! These ceremonies might evoke tears, but they also bring joy.

They can include music, poetry, and readings. They always include fond memories. And they must be led by someone who honestly respects the worldviews of everyone involved, including agnostics, atheists, and those of non-mainstream religions or spiritual paths.

Meaningful Remembrance Ceremonies are highly personalized. To accomplish this, an experienced Officiant takes the time needed to get the full picture of the person. Working with a Certified Funeral Celebrant assures you of a ceremony that truly represents and celebrates your loved one.

These ceremonies can also be referred to as Celebrations of Life, or nontraditional funerals or memorial services. They are different from traditional funerals or memorial services in several ways:

 The ceremony is planned by an Officiant who takes the time to truly understand the life of the person, and how much that person means to those who survive the death.

 The ceremony is not about religion; it's about the person who died. It might include some religious or spiritual aspects — readings or music from one or more religions and spiritual paths. Clergy and lay leaders can be included as speakers. Or it might not mention religion at all. Whatever feels right to the family or people responsible for the ceremony.

 They do not have to follow a certain form. Think of the 1970's shift from formal weddings to ceremonies written to express the individuality of the couple. We have the same opportunity now to express the individuality of the person whose life we are celebrating.

In Oregon, 40% of deaths are not memorialized by any kind of ceremony.* This leaves many, many people without the comfort of gathering together to honor and memorialize their loved ones. Without ceremony of some kind, grief can "go underground," causing problems later.

If you or your loved one have decided to specify that no service be held, please see "No Service."

If an official ceremony was held but it didn't take all the person's friends or relatives into account, you can hold your own ceremony. see Alternative Goodbye ceremonies.

If there was no ceremony at the time of the person's death and you'd like to commemorate your loved one's life, see Belated Goodbye ceremonies.

If you or someone you care about is facing death, you might want to consider a Farewell Gathering — a get-togethers before a person dies — see Life Change Ceremonies.

Feel free to explore the rest of this section, or simply contact me with any questions you have, without obligation. I will answer your questions without pressure. Only you know what best for your situation.

*Reference: Oregon Funeral Directors Association, April 2007.